Happy Thanksgiving!

I’ve been way too busy lately. So it’s a good thing Mr. Gobbles, the turkey, is here to wish you all a happy Thanksgiving!

Pre-school

I have three distinct memories from pre-school:

1. Watching a movie about train safety
2. Skipping a field trip
3. Panicking over the fact that I was in the nap time area and I was not supposed to be there for nap time

The first memory is pretty self-explanatory. We were shown a movie telling us to stay away from train tracks because trains are bigger than pre-schoolers. In a fight between a train and one or more pre-schoolers, the train will always win.

The second memory involves a field trip to a park. I was terrified of being lost as a child. In my mind if I wasn’t on top of my game, monitoring my surroundings and those who were allegedly watching me, then I would be left behind and lost for all time. I would be forced to become a wild nature girl, relying solely on my animal-like instincts to survive among the bears and other forest creatures.

I can remember when I was six my family was stopped at a rest stop on our move from Utah to Washington. When we were walking around I kept my brothers in sight at all times as to not misplace them and lose them to the forest.

So anyway, in pre-school my class was talking a trip to a park. Of course I wanted no part in this. So, my mom told me I didn’t have to go. When I delivered this message to the teacher, it did not sit as well with her as it did with me. She did not have a backup plan for students who did not want to be a part of her activities. The teacher sternly told me to sit in a chair until I was picked up. For some reason, there was a single chair in the front of the play area facing the door – maybe she had actually come up with a backup plan, and this was it.

I sat there until they left.

Then I started exploring. She had conveniently turned all the lights out so my adventure was lit only by the sunlight streaming in through the front windows. At first I stayed near the chair. That was my safe zone. People would know to look for me there. I played with toys on the shelves behind the chair, keeping the chair in view.

But as my courage grew, so did my radius from the safety zone. Soon I was wandering the hallways observing the other classes that weren’t forced to choose between a trip to the park that would lead to a lifetime of forest dwelling, and a day of solitude and shame with only a chair to call friend.

I watched the kids eating their snacks and they all stared at me wondering why there was a strange little girl salivating at the end of the hall. Their teacher didn’t offer me any tasty treats.

With hunger setting in, and the overwhelming fear of being captured and lost in a group of kids where nobody would know to look for me dominating my thoughts, I headed back to the chair. I sat staring at the door, not sure what I was waiting for but knew something would happen. Luckily my mom appeared and took me away from the dark, lonely, shame-filled adventure.

Much like my second memory, my third memory largely revolves around fear. I stayed at pre-school until nap time – that’s when my mom would come to pick me up. I knew where nap time area was and what nap time mats looked like. I also knew that I didn’t want any part of it. If I was there for nap time, it could only mean one thing – I had been lost and forgotten for all time. So, when the teacher led us to the nap area I began to panic. I’m pretty sure we were going to watch a movie, but it felt like a trick to me. I made sure my teacher was well aware of the fact that “I’m not supposed to be here” and that I had to leave.

Clearly pre-school was a terrifying part of my childhood.

California Surfing

Brent and I spent the first week of September visiting friends in California and surfing. Because I love making videos with my GoPro, I put together an edit of my adventures in San Diego!

Apparently there were sharks in the water in La Jolla, but I didn’t see them. I did see some fish and a sea lion that Brent pointed out though. Pretty crazy.

Bag Houses

Eric and Brent started the bag house extravaganza. They bought their own box of those giant black trash bags and got to work.

The construction of a bag house involves cutting the bottoms of the trash bags open and duct taping them together to create a long tube (and if you want to be adventurous, some secondary tubes). The next step is key. You need a box fan to fasten the open end of the bag home to. This fan will fill the bags with air and keep the fort in operating condition.

I think the concept came into fruition when Eric and Brent wanted to build an air tunnel to test out a new airplane they had created.

It quickly evolved into a fort though. The first bag home was a scientific research facility, complete with bag shelves.

I wasn’t allowed in, except for a quick guided tour. I guess I deserved it after employing Brent to help me build a fort and then forcing him to stay outside to “shoot the wolves.” I think I had actually convinced him the fort was a vehicle, he was driving it (in his little kid rocking chair), and wolves were approaching.

Whenever the sheets began to rustle, I knew he was trying to enter and I’d yell out “the wolves are coming!”

He still holds this against me (in a non-hostile way).

After seeing what Eric and Brent had done, I wanted in on the bag house fun. We headed out to our local hardware store and loaded up on giant black trash bags and duct tape.

We then decided on the floor plan and began our work. We designed several wings in the bag mansion.

Brent and I regularly discussed making a giant bag dome/fort for water fight purposes.

I had in my mind a giant dome, with a pool in the middle and water dripping from the walls and ceiling. Corridors would be leading off in all directions. This plan would require at least 57 box fans and be a death trap. Water and electrical wires don’t mix.

For the time being, the bag home we had designed would have to do. Because bag homes have the potential for a disastrous collapse if something were to obstruct the stream of air from the box fan, we each carried our own pair of scissors to make an escape hole.

Brent took full advantage of this. Our neighbor was over and wanted to check out our amazing architectural talent, so we reluctantly obliged. This had disaster written all over it – this individual was not well versed in bag home protocol. I exited first and watched as our neighbor struggled in the entrance.

The entrance is tough to navigate because it is filled with a box fan attached to the bag on three sides. So, exiting requires maneuvering out of the one free side. Our neighbor spent too long struggling near the fan which caused the bags to begin to deflate.

Brent decided to act. He whipped out his scissors and cut a Brent-sized hole in the bag behind our neighbor.

He quickly exited and Eric followed. Our neighbor was most of the way free at this point, so she pulled the bag away from the fan and was out. Everything was ruined though. I was mad. The bag that Brent had cut came from the box of trash bags that I had bought, so naturally it was a harder blow to me.

This was the last bag house we made.

Disclaimer: Like most things I write about, you shouldn’t try to repeat this. If you build a bag house you will probably die.

NO!

I visited Brent a few weeks ago and we had big plans of heading out the Long Beach for a surf trip. I was extra excited because I had just got cleared to surf since I was a few months out from my compartment syndrome surgery. We woke up and took the hour+ long trip out the beach. I didn’t bring my new surf board out to NYC, so we had to walk a mile or so to the surf shop to pick up my rental board. I paid the fee and picked up my 45 pound rental board. Everything was going according to plan at this point. We just had to head towards the water and then surfing would commence! Unfortunately things didn’t go as planned.

When we approached the beach I saw a big sign that said “NO” and made a joke about no surfing. But we continued forward and started to make our way over the board walk. Just when Brent was nearing the sand, I heard a guy ask “Where are your tickets?” I looked at him confused and Brent came back up to see what was going on. The beach was charging an entry fee this fine afternoon (something Brent had never seen before in all his weekends spent surfing). It was weird, but we were fine paying the fee. But, oh wait, they had a no credit card policy! Why would we have cash on us…that would be destroyed in the ocean. There really was going to be no surfing!

We talked for about 15 minutes outside the guy’s booth on what our options were to get the needed cash. It seemed our only options were to sell some items off our back or rob strangers – clearly neither seemed like a good idea. So, we spent the next 3 hours walking up and down the beach trying to find any place that was unguarded by the guys in green shirts or that would accept credit cards.

To add insult to injury, we became trapped in some kind of boardwalk festival that made us feel more like we were at the Jersey shore than on a surf trip. Because my rental board weighed so much, Brent and I alternated carrying it. And because it was so wide, I could only carry it over my head (I couldn’t fit it under my arm). I’m pretty sure we jabbed more than a few people with our boards. At one point, we stopped in the middle of the tightly packed boardwalk in disbelief of the situation. We made the option to keep moving forward to try to find an escape path.

We did find one eventually, but it was miles up the beach and there were still no entry points that we could use. So, we made the several mile trip through the streets of Long Beach to the surf shop, dropped off the board, and went to Five Guys. I spent $60 on train fare and the surf board rental – all that so I could carry around an oversized, awkward object for hours like a pack mule.

For the low price of $60, I was able to make this enthralling (non)-surf video!

I also like to call this “Brent riding on a train.”

All the cool kids are doing it

I created a page on Facebook! I’ve been holding off from introducing these stories to my everyday life, where people can judge with their eyes. But now I’ve enabled people (people that I know in the real world…ahhhh!) to track all the tales of bears and robots back to me.

You’re all invited to the party!

There might be some bears at the party. Like this bear. He’s from San Diego. There’s nothing polar about San Diego, Mr. Bear.

Magic Show

As kids, Eric, Brent, and I were very creative. We’d always be constructing new contraptions and exploring new places. One year, after watching a series of magic shows on TV, we decided we had to put on a magic show of our own. All three of us are pretty competitive and want to be the best at whatever it is we decide to do. So, we couldn’t put on any old magic show. We had to put on the best magic show that had ever been imagined by even the most visionary magicians. We researched existing tricks and put our own ‘flare’ on them to make them doable for us. In our minds our ‘magic’ was stealth and sneaky. But I’m sure in actuality we were stumbling around in a clunky and obviously not magic way.

I don’t remember exactly what the tricks were, but I do remember pieces of three of them. One involved a large cardboard box (possibly a refrigerator box), one involved our toy chest, and one involved blankets draped over a bunk bed with a secret walkway behind the bed. A lot of them involved me hiding in cramped spaces and trying to move without trashing around which is apparently quite difficult for me to do. Eric and I had partnered on a number of tricks so we could tackle the more complicated stuff. Brent decided to stay rogue and only perform tricks that allowed for one man sorcery.

Brent began to get ambitious as our magic planning progressed. Like a studious little magician’s apprentice he researched everything related to magic tricks that existed. Through this extensive research, he began to develop a large repertoire of tricks that he wanted to be able to perform. This did not sit well with Eric or me. We confronted him. This did not sit well with Brent.

Eric and I wanted to keep this a joint effort with a fair share of performances from all involved. We had an even distribution of appearances for the three of us in the game plan that we had on the table. Brent wanted to show the full spectrum of his new knowledge and talent. A large argument broke out where everyone threatened to give up everyone else’s magic trick secrets. Brent decided that he didn’t want any part in our show anymore. He was going to create his own show.

With the threat of another show to compete against – another show that would actually take away from our show (either we would have to repeat his tricks or live with a very short performance), Eric and I discussed our options. We weighed the costs and benefits of re-including Brent in our act. Of course there was a threat of a repeat incident in which he would abandon us to pursue his own show, so we had to head that off. Eric pulled out a piece of paper and began to scribe a contract that Brent would have to sign once he rejoined our amazing team.

We went through several iterations of the contract before we agreed on one what was suitable to present to Brent. Some of the conditions that we considered were:

1. Brent has absolutely no say in what happens, no matter what
2. Brent has to act as more of a side-kick – meaning no real magic for Brent
3. Brent has to act as some sort of servant, providing us with food and water as we prepare for the shows
4. Brent gives up all rights to his magic, and if he leaves then he relinquishes the tricks to Eric and me
5. If any rules were disobeyed then Eric and I got to beat Brent with a stick

The final contract was a little less harsh than some of the early drafts. It did, however, enforce equal performance time for all members of the magic trio. Brent agreed that it would be more fun to have a team to perform with and agreed to sign the contract. And with that the rehearsals commenced!

But unfortunately, my mom unknowingly saw us rehearsing through a window. I was sneaking around a secret passageway that regrettably went past an open window, when I saw my mom on the other side. This ruined everything! If that trick was exposed, what was the point in doing anything?

The magic show never happened.