Bag Houses

Eric and Brent started the bag house extravaganza. They bought their own box of those giant black trash bags and got to work.

The construction of a bag house involves cutting the bottoms of the trash bags open and duct taping them together to create a long tube (and if you want to be adventurous, some secondary tubes). The next step is key. You need a box fan to fasten the open end of the bag home to. This fan will fill the bags with air and keep the fort in operating condition.

I think the concept came into fruition when Eric and Brent wanted to build an air tunnel to test out a new airplane they had created.

It quickly evolved into a fort though. The first bag home was a scientific research facility, complete with bag shelves.

I wasn’t allowed in, except for a quick guided tour. I guess I deserved it after employing Brent to help me build a fort and then forcing him to stay outside to “shoot the wolves.” I think I had actually convinced him the fort was a vehicle, he was driving it (in his little kid rocking chair), and wolves were approaching.

Whenever the sheets began to rustle, I knew he was trying to enter and I’d yell out “the wolves are coming!”

He still holds this against me (in a non-hostile way).

After seeing what Eric and Brent had done, I wanted in on the bag house fun. We headed out to our local hardware store and loaded up on giant black trash bags and duct tape.

We then decided on the floor plan and began our work. We designed several wings in the bag mansion.

Brent and I regularly discussed making a giant bag dome/fort for water fight purposes.

I had in my mind a giant dome, with a pool in the middle and water dripping from the walls and ceiling. Corridors would be leading off in all directions. This plan would require at least 57 box fans and be a death trap. Water and electrical wires don’t mix.

For the time being, the bag home we had designed would have to do. Because bag homes have the potential for a disastrous collapse if something were to obstruct the stream of air from the box fan, we each carried our own pair of scissors to make an escape hole.

Brent took full advantage of this. Our neighbor was over and wanted to check out our amazing architectural talent, so we reluctantly obliged. This had disaster written all over it – this individual was not well versed in bag home protocol. I exited first and watched as our neighbor struggled in the entrance.

The entrance is tough to navigate because it is filled with a box fan attached to the bag on three sides. So, exiting requires maneuvering out of the one free side. Our neighbor spent too long struggling near the fan which caused the bags to begin to deflate.

Brent decided to act. He whipped out his scissors and cut a Brent-sized hole in the bag behind our neighbor.

He quickly exited and Eric followed. Our neighbor was most of the way free at this point, so she pulled the bag away from the fan and was out. Everything was ruined though. I was mad. The bag that Brent had cut came from the box of trash bags that I had bought, so naturally it was a harder blow to me.

This was the last bag house we made.

Disclaimer: Like most things I write about, you shouldn’t try to repeat this. If you build a bag house you will probably die.

NO!

I visited Brent a few weeks ago and we had big plans of heading out the Long Beach for a surf trip. I was extra excited because I had just got cleared to surf since I was a few months out from my compartment syndrome surgery. We woke up and took the hour+ long trip out the beach. I didn’t bring my new surf board out to NYC, so we had to walk a mile or so to the surf shop to pick up my rental board. I paid the fee and picked up my 45 pound rental board. Everything was going according to plan at this point. We just had to head towards the water and then surfing would commence! Unfortunately things didn’t go as planned.

When we approached the beach I saw a big sign that said “NO” and made a joke about no surfing. But we continued forward and started to make our way over the board walk. Just when Brent was nearing the sand, I heard a guy ask “Where are your tickets?” I looked at him confused and Brent came back up to see what was going on. The beach was charging an entry fee this fine afternoon (something Brent had never seen before in all his weekends spent surfing). It was weird, but we were fine paying the fee. But, oh wait, they had a no credit card policy! Why would we have cash on us…that would be destroyed in the ocean. There really was going to be no surfing!

We talked for about 15 minutes outside the guy’s booth on what our options were to get the needed cash. It seemed our only options were to sell some items off our back or rob strangers – clearly neither seemed like a good idea. So, we spent the next 3 hours walking up and down the beach trying to find any place that was unguarded by the guys in green shirts or that would accept credit cards.

To add insult to injury, we became trapped in some kind of boardwalk festival that made us feel more like we were at the Jersey shore than on a surf trip. Because my rental board weighed so much, Brent and I alternated carrying it. And because it was so wide, I could only carry it over my head (I couldn’t fit it under my arm). I’m pretty sure we jabbed more than a few people with our boards. At one point, we stopped in the middle of the tightly packed boardwalk in disbelief of the situation. We made the option to keep moving forward to try to find an escape path.

We did find one eventually, but it was miles up the beach and there were still no entry points that we could use. So, we made the several mile trip through the streets of Long Beach to the surf shop, dropped off the board, and went to Five Guys. I spent $60 on train fare and the surf board rental – all that so I could carry around an oversized, awkward object for hours like a pack mule.

For the low price of $60, I was able to make this enthralling (non)-surf video!

I also like to call this “Brent riding on a train.”

All the cool kids are doing it

I created a page on Facebook! I’ve been holding off from introducing these stories to my everyday life, where people can judge with their eyes. But now I’ve enabled people (people that I know in the real world…ahhhh!) to track all the tales of bears and robots back to me.

You’re all invited to the party!

There might be some bears at the party. Like this bear. He’s from San Diego. There’s nothing polar about San Diego, Mr. Bear.

Magic Show

As kids, Eric, Brent, and I were very creative. We’d always be constructing new contraptions and exploring new places. One year, after watching a series of magic shows on TV, we decided we had to put on a magic show of our own. All three of us are pretty competitive and want to be the best at whatever it is we decide to do. So, we couldn’t put on any old magic show. We had to put on the best magic show that had ever been imagined by even the most visionary magicians. We researched existing tricks and put our own ‘flare’ on them to make them doable for us. In our minds our ‘magic’ was stealth and sneaky. But I’m sure in actuality we were stumbling around in a clunky and obviously not magic way.

I don’t remember exactly what the tricks were, but I do remember pieces of three of them. One involved a large cardboard box (possibly a refrigerator box), one involved our toy chest, and one involved blankets draped over a bunk bed with a secret walkway behind the bed. A lot of them involved me hiding in cramped spaces and trying to move without trashing around which is apparently quite difficult for me to do. Eric and I had partnered on a number of tricks so we could tackle the more complicated stuff. Brent decided to stay rogue and only perform tricks that allowed for one man sorcery.

Brent began to get ambitious as our magic planning progressed. Like a studious little magician’s apprentice he researched everything related to magic tricks that existed. Through this extensive research, he began to develop a large repertoire of tricks that he wanted to be able to perform. This did not sit well with Eric or me. We confronted him. This did not sit well with Brent.

Eric and I wanted to keep this a joint effort with a fair share of performances from all involved. We had an even distribution of appearances for the three of us in the game plan that we had on the table. Brent wanted to show the full spectrum of his new knowledge and talent. A large argument broke out where everyone threatened to give up everyone else’s magic trick secrets. Brent decided that he didn’t want any part in our show anymore. He was going to create his own show.

With the threat of another show to compete against – another show that would actually take away from our show (either we would have to repeat his tricks or live with a very short performance), Eric and I discussed our options. We weighed the costs and benefits of re-including Brent in our act. Of course there was a threat of a repeat incident in which he would abandon us to pursue his own show, so we had to head that off. Eric pulled out a piece of paper and began to scribe a contract that Brent would have to sign once he rejoined our amazing team.

We went through several iterations of the contract before we agreed on one what was suitable to present to Brent. Some of the conditions that we considered were:

1. Brent has absolutely no say in what happens, no matter what
2. Brent has to act as more of a side-kick – meaning no real magic for Brent
3. Brent has to act as some sort of servant, providing us with food and water as we prepare for the shows
4. Brent gives up all rights to his magic, and if he leaves then he relinquishes the tricks to Eric and me
5. If any rules were disobeyed then Eric and I got to beat Brent with a stick

The final contract was a little less harsh than some of the early drafts. It did, however, enforce equal performance time for all members of the magic trio. Brent agreed that it would be more fun to have a team to perform with and agreed to sign the contract. And with that the rehearsals commenced!

But unfortunately, my mom unknowingly saw us rehearsing through a window. I was sneaking around a secret passageway that regrettably went past an open window, when I saw my mom on the other side. This ruined everything! If that trick was exposed, what was the point in doing anything?

The magic show never happened.

A leg model I will be

Last year when I was first diagnosed with compartment syndrome, I was told that after surgery I could “still be a leg model.” I hadn’t set that as one of my goals in life, but I’ve since decided that it is now my top goal. I’ve gone ahead and created some samples for the leg modeling agencies to take a look at. You’ll notice there’s a bit of a nice pattern to my legs because I just had them wrapped up for icing. I think it adds a nice touch – pretty Avant-garde.

If the left leg isn’t the right look, then here’s the right one.

You’re welcome leg modeling agencies.

Marc Clayton is awesome!

Marc left a nice comment for all of you searching for his music. I wanted to be sure you all were able to see it, even if you’re not reading through the comments.

He’s a nice guy – he didn’t have to say anything but he did, which is awesome. So visit his website: The Lazy Suns, buy the song you’ve been searching for: Troubled Sea, and then buy more of his music: Marc Clayton.

Thanks Marc – keep up the great work!

The rest you can ignore…I just need to make sure searches for this song land here, like for my previous post. I’m totally against trying to direct people to my blog posts (through including popular search keywords in hopes of tricking people into reading my stuff – that annoys me and I’m sure it annoys everyone else), but I think it’s for a worthy cause – you all want his music, he wants you all to buy his music, and I want to help everyone (while making sure you see Marc’s message)!

Searches:

• We set sail for discovery
• We are sailing on a troubled sea
• Deadliest Catch
• The waves are rising and the water is deep
• And the waters of the troubled sea bring a strong man to his knees and make a weak man cry

Music info:

• Song title: Troubled Sea
• Artist: Marc Clayton and the Lazy Suns

We are sailing on a troubled sea!

I can always tell when the episode of Deadliest Catch that features “Troubled Sea” has aired.

I seem to be the internet expert on this song! I don’t have the name of the song listed in my previous post though, so I’m going to make it easier for people to track it down. Deadliest Catch is amazingly awesome, so you too must be amazingly awesome by association!

You search for this:

• We set sail for discovery
• We are sailing on a troubled sea
• Deadliest Catch
• The waves are rising and the water is deep
• And the waters of the troubled sea bring a strong man to his knees and make a weak man cry

I give you this present:

• Song title: Troubled Sea
• Artist: Marc Clayton and the Lazy Suns

And as always, here’s a rope burn fact:

• Don’t let your dog lick your rope burned hands, they will get infected.