Hey hey! Like I said in my previous post, I just got back from vacation. Now it’s been a month since I got back, but in that month I’ve had surgery! I’ll explain the oh so fun epic tale of my leg compartments once I’m able to get around better (and don’t have to constantly ice and elevate my legs)…so for now, here’s the video of my last ski trip.
I got to use my new Armada VJJs for the first time!
I was on vacation 2 weeks ago…and have been playing catch up since I’ve gotten back. So, I haven’t had time to draw any pictures. And I don’t want to post a story without dedicating some time to pictures, so I’ll just provide an update on the complete mess I made of my bed tonight.
I was drinking a soda in my bedroom, and had placed it on this convenient little table. Because I’m so horribly clumsy, I tripped over nothing while trying to sit on my bed and knocked the table over. This resulted in the full soda can flying onto my bed and spraying it's contents everywhere. I quickly sprung to action and stripped my bed of everything. But it was too late. The soda had already absorbed into my mattress. So now I have a pillow in the trash, several loads of laundry running to try to avoid stains, and I’m pouring hydrogen peroxide on my mattress to try to avoid even more stains. I went a bit overboard on the hydrogen peroxide because my mattress is soaking wet.
To top everything off, as I began pouring the hydrogen peroxide and spraying Febreeze on my bed…I knocked the soda can back onto my bed and spilled the remaining soda. For some reason the first step was not removing the mess creator from my room. Now I’ll be doing laundry until 2 AM and I’ll be sleeping on the floor since my mattress basically has a pool of water, hydrogen peroxide, and Febreeze floating on it. It’s going to be a good Monday!
I should mention that I had just painted my toenails, so this whole time I was running around like an idiot trying not to allow anything to touch my feet.
This is probably why most people don’t eat and drink in their bedrooms.
While using a public restroom, it is possible to peep into the stalls because of the gap between the door and the wall. While it is possible, it is not ok.
I thought this went without saying. I figured all girls would realize that it’s not proper etiquette to watch another girl using the bathroom. But, over the years I’ve realized how wrong my assumption was. It’s absolutely insane how many times I’ve caught a woman’s gaze while using the bathroom. And what’s worse, usually catching them doesn’t deter them! When someone locks eyes with you, its safe to assume that they too are staring at you. I’m not sure if it’s cockiness, fear, or a belief that if they don’t move I won’t detect them…but usually when I catch a woman staring at me, she doesn’t stop quickly like one would hope.
Because there doesn’t seem to be a good understanding of proper bathroom etiquette within the community of girls that use public restrooms, I’ve compiled a list of 7 reasons of when it’s ok to look into a stall that’s in use. Do not look in the stall otherwise!
1. You hear ticking and expect a bomb with decoy feet
2. You are 100% positive that Bigfoot is in the stall and you want to land a spot on Finding Bigfoot
3. The room is filling with water and you suspect the only exit is in the stall
4. A super villain took your pet goldfish and the only way to get him back is to look into that particular stall at a designated time…and someone just happens to be in there…but you have to save your goldfish
5. A lion chased you into the bathroom and has cornered you, and before you’re eaten alive you want one more second of human interaction
6. You misplaced your crackers and you suspect the person in the stall is eating them behind locked door
7. You’re on PCP (no one is going to question you if you’re on PCP)
That’s it. Those are the only acceptable reasons.
If you just feel the need to stare at a girl using the bathroom, I’m sorry but you can’t. That’s just weird.
On a side note: Here’s my attempt at drawing Bigfoot:
Not good.
If you don’t like skiing, then you’re probably hating all these posts…but let’s be honest, no one could possibly hate skiing. This video has an element of humor to it too (everyone likes watching someone fall) – so everyone should be super happy.
On my ski trip in Dec ‘11 – Jan ‘12, we set out to try a new area: The South Wall. One of our runs down Blackrock Gully was less than perfect though. A ski school instructor decided the perfect spot to tell his class to remove their skis and lay in the snow (why would this ever be necessary?) was at the bottom of this gully. Unfortunately for us, it was tough to see this was going on below until we were super close. And because we didn’t want to harm any children, each one of us veered to the left to avoid the crowd. The snow was heavy and cruddy to the left though, which resulted in at least 6 falls (I believe there were more). One by one we made our way down the gully and then tumbled after edges and tips were caught.
My crash can’t really be blamed on this though. I just happened to catch an edge while in the gully and tumbled down most of the run. Enjoy my crash:
Pandora doesn’t always like me. Sometimes it plays songs to spite me and then spews angry words at my eyeballs.
I went skiing for 3 weeks, and then on my last day out there I got sick. And that wonderful cold has stuck with me for the past 2 weeks, so I’ve been sleeping a bunch. I did take some time to put together an edit of my ski trip, so I figured I share that here. It’s not funny though, so here’s a story:
On Christmas and Thanksgiving my family says grace at dinner to make the event feel more like a special occasion. But we never do it any other time, so we don’t have a great grace play book to pull from. So, no one is every super eager to be the one to say grace. This year this is how the conversation went:
Mom: Who wants to say grace?
Me: I do! I do!
Mom: Ok, Cristy’s going to say grace. Is everyone ready…
Me: Piiiiiiiiiiiiissssssssssssssssssssssssss! (This is a South Park reference.)
My mom ended up having to say grace, because I guess this didn’t count.
Now, here’s the video!
I love to eat at the restaurant at Bass Pro Shop. The food is great; I get to wander through the store and look at bears, turkeys, deer, etc. while waiting to be seated; and I get to watch the fish in the fish tank while I’m eating. On one of my visits I noticed a fish with a human face. He had a large nose that protruded from his body and a smug mouth. I have dubbed him the Snub-nosed Analrapist. Eric asked the bartender what his actual name was, and we discovered that he is actually called a Unicorn Tang. Well, if the fish naming authorities were just going to add “Tang” to the end of a short description for the fish, then why couldn’t I? I named several other fish in the tank.
The Unicorn Tang, aka the Snub-nosed Analrapist:
The Unicorn Tang is a sneaky fish that lurks around corners and strikes its prey when they least expect it. He doesn’t eat other fish. He violates other fish.
The Fat Ass Tang:
The Fat Ass Tang is quite large. He mostly likes to sit inside caves and not move. When he does venture out into open waters, he can be recognized by his morbidly obese shape, his black and white stripes, and his inability to swim like a non-obese fish. The Fat Ass Tang leverages two fins to swim, but not the correct two fins. He uses two fins located near his tail – one above his large body and one below. The fastest he can swim is about 0.0001 miles per hour. He is still faster than me.
The One Eyed Tang:
The One Eyed Tang fell victim to the Snub-nosed Analrapist. He wasn’t paying close enough attention and had his eye “nose raped” out of his face. He always keeps the Snub-nosed Analrapist within vision of his one remaining eye. He is a strong believer in the phrase “Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me.”
Note: For more information on the analrapist in its human form, check out the scientific documentary “Arrested Development.”
