There are two places I regularly go running – down the street in front of my apartment complex (tree man territory) and across the street at a pond. The pond isn’t that big (hence pond and not lake), so I make a lot of trips around it. One thing that I dislike about the pond is the number of creepy dudes that seem to emerge from the office buildings surrounding the pond at running time. What more than makes up for that unpleasantness, is my many animal friends that live and frolic there.
Ducks
The ducks are skittish. Honestly all the critters are, but the ducks do enjoy some distance left between me and them. My favorite thing about the ducks is that they have baby ducks. Every spring a new batch of ducklings appears and I get to watch them learn to be animals. I’ve learned a few things about ducklings:
- They like to be in constant contact with the momma duck. This means pushing and climbing as they meander through the pond.
- They are confused. Always. Whenever I run by and the momma duck panics, the ducklings just scuttle around in the duck cluster they’re always a part of.
I also like to watch the drake mallards chase each other around and the see the pursuer get nervous when he realizes his proximity to me. It makes me feel powerful when the “tough” duck runs away. I like to feel powerful.
Geese
The geese and I have a complicated relationship. They love to stand on the sidewalk even though they have perfectly good grass and pond water all to themselves.
The geese are very vocal about not wanting me around. I go back and forth between allowing the leader goose to feel powerful by giving a wide radius in response to his warning hisses…and choosing to display my own dominance by staring him down until he backs off.
I like to think the interaction goes like this:
But it goes more like this:
Even though many of our interactions are hostile in nature, I think we have a perfectly healthy relationship.
But then again, I sometimes think they geese also came down to VA from NY (where I went to college). When I was in college I went for a run with a friend that was trying to start working out. We decided to run around a lake and ended up chasing some hostile geese. It turns out they were mamma and papa geese trying to keep us away from their babies. So, we stopped the pursuit.
But, I think my chasing of those geese stems from my childhood interaction with a goose at a farm. I was feeding him bread and he bit my finger. I guess no one ever told him not to bite the hand that feeds you. No more bread for him.
Blue Heron
The pride and joy of the pond is the blue heron. He swoops in and hides along the shoreline with his weird bending legs and awesome feather hair.
I have a little game I like to play with him. It’s called “Cristy tries to take Blue Heron’s picture, and Blue Heron flies away.” I’d like to think we’re both winners of the game. By the time I get my camera to picture taking mode, Blue Heron is flapping his wings. I always end up with a mediocre picture.
He’s been a little nervous around me since one of our first meetings, when I literally scared the shit out of him. That day, Blue Heron saw me approaching and decided he should seek shelter in a tree. He then proceeded to release his bowels from high up in the tree. On a side note, I really don’t think this is normal behavior for this type of bird. He looked really out of place perched in a tree because of his large stature.
Any day I see Blue Heron is a good day.
Dead Fish
Every now and then I see a dead fish floating in the pond. I like to look for it every time I make a lap around the pond.
I don’t really have much more to say about the dead fish.
Things I don’t like: creepy dudes
I generally manage to avoid them. Our only interactions are an exchange of stares: creepy stares on their end and an angry stare on my end.
About a month ago there was a guy coming in and out of one of the buildings. It appeared he worked for a carpet cleaning company. One lap around I went to swat a fly or do something of that nature and he thought I was waving I guess, because he started waiving at me. Each lap he was outside and ready to greet me.
Unfortunately, he built up the courage to speak to me. Near the end of my run he stopped me:
Guy: “Do you like to eat out?”
Me: (timidly) “Sometimes”
Guy: “Would you like to get dinner?”
Me: (after a pause and while making my “oh dear God, why is this happening” face) “Sorrrrrryyyyyyy”
Guy: “Oh you already have someone”
Me: “Yeahhhhhh”
Me: “Thanks though, that was sweet to ask” (Trying to end the awkward situation in the most pleasant way I could)
I don’t see carpet cleaning man anymore.
Ending on a non-creepy dude note:
Here’s what I have to imagine other people see when they observe me:
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