As documented here, I’m not so good at the sleep to wake transition process. This became even more clear in March 2011. I gave myself a concussion while trying to snooze my alarm clock.
I’m not an early morning person, but I have forced my body to adapt to very early wake-ups so that I can get to the gym and work out before going to work. Because I can’t do anything in moderation, this quickly escalated to morning workouts, lunch runs, and after work runs. Unfortunately, this all came to a screeching halt in July 2010 when I had to undergo knee surgery. The knee surgery resulted in a long rehabilitation period which meant I slept in past 5:00 AM each morning.
I’m now to the point where going to the gym is completely fine, but my body refuses to wake up in the morning. So, I’ve been working out later in the day. I still make a feeble attempt to wake up super early each morning, which just results in me feeling like a failure first thing in the morning…every morning. I hear the awful noise that happens a split second before the alarm goes off and instinctively spring up to hit snooze.
Luckily, I don’t rely on just one alarm to wake me up. I keep my cell phone at the end of my bed on a table so that I have to actually get up to silence the rings. It’s like a fun little obstacle course every morning, where the prize is more sleep. I’m very good at problem solving if it’s to avoid being awoken. I have the process down to a science.
1) Sit up.
2) Propel myself forward (on my left, non-surgeried knee).
3) Reach in a full stretch to the table to silence the alarm. This mirrors some sort of Pilates exercise.
4) Slingshot back to a sitting position.
5) Fall backwards onto my pillow.
I always thought that it was a slow, slouching motion that resulted in me being back in a sleeping position. But the events that unfolded on that March day have lead me to believe that I actually fling myself backwards at a rate comparable to that of a spaceship leaving its launch pad.
I had just snoozed my cell alarm clock and prepared to rocket myself back to sleep when something went horribly wrong. I wasn’t lined up with my bed. So, I ended up slamming my head, at high speed, against my nightstand. I immediately went back to sleep. Not so surprisingly, I didn’t remember what had happened when I actually woke up.
When I walked into the bathroom my nose felt like it was filled with liquid. So, I blew my nose. I was shocked to see blood pouring out.
Then I came to the realization that I had hit the back of my head and blood was coming out of the front of my face. I’m no doctor, but I know that this isn’t a good sign. I went about my day, and managed to survive – even though I did not feel that amazing – so I consider the results a success.
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