While on my last ski trip – at Big Sky, one of my favorite places in the world – I came up with a new sport: snow surfing. The idea behind this is extremely simple and extremely poorly thought out. Snow surfing is the act of surfing an avalanche down a mountain. In order to do this, you will need the following:
1) One snow surfboard (a regular surfboard placed in the snow)
2) Dynamite charges to trigger your very own avalanche
3) A friend to set off the charges. “Friend” is a strong term since this person will likely be sending you on an extremely dangerous ride down a frozen hellscape.
The setup is straight forward:
1) Place the snow surfboard in an avalanche chute.
2) Stand on the snow surfboard. No bindings are required. Let’s face it; this isn’t going to work out either way.
3) Give your friend the thumbs up.
Your friend will then launch the charges. This is the pivotal moment. This is when the peaceful slope becomes a hungry snow beast, swallowing everything in its path. This is when your life will undoubtedly change.
At this point you have one goal: survival. You’ve made nothing but bad decisions leading up to this moment, so things aren’t looking good for you. There’s still a glimmer of hope though. There are two options for the remainder of this “event.”
1) You ride the snow wave to the bottom of the slope and become the most amazingly awesome person to have ever existed.
This will not happen.
2) Disaster. The snow beast succeeds in swallowing you whole. Hopefully you and your friend remembered to pack avalanche beacons! My money is on no.
Disclaimer: Do not try this. If you try this you will die.
haha, im going to try this in the big coulior next year
ReplyDeleteI think that's a solid plan. I see absolutely no flaws. Yay!
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