Spider Season

I don’t know why spiders incite such a reaction in me. It might have something to do with their obviously sneaky, yet quick movements. To an individual not trained in the art of spider behavior interpretation, a spider could come across as a seemingly harmless creature.

I know what the spider is thinking though.


I definitely jump and panic. But then I attack. In a spider situation, I think most people trigger the “fight or flight” instinct – some people seem to have no reaction because they’re either made of stone or have no soul. When I see a spider I have a moment of panic where a shudder moves down my spine and I shake my arms and legs around. My “fight” instinct quickly kicks in though and I sprint to grab the nearest shoe or piece of toilet paper/Kleenex. And then I destroy the spider. I squeeze it between my fingers (if I have toilet paper or Kleenex) until they’re shaking. When I’m killing a beetle I know I’ve won when I hear the crunch. Unfortunately with a spider there’s no crunch. Once the spider has been smashed I throw it in the toilet and flush it so that it can’t come back to life for a follow up attack.

Spider attacks come in many forms. Most of the forms are sneak attacks.




I live in the south where spiders thrive. So every spring, summer, and fall (or as I call this extended period of time – spider season) my balcony become a quarantined horror zone. It fluctuates between being infested by spiders…


…and being an inhospitable environment filled with enough bug poison to a kill a mid-sized rhinoceros.


It’s such a shame too. Just as soon as I’d want to spend time outside, I’m forced to become a shut-in to defend my apartment from the descending spider army.


And just when you thought things couldn’t get any worse, there’s such a thing as a jumping spider. Jumping spiders like to hide in grass. They’ll jump on you and bite your feet when you’re wearing flip flops.