Crazy Eyes

After moving to VA in 2008, I had to find all new doctors. I started going to an eye doctor that was located near my house. This particular eye doctor is crazy about dilating eyes. I swear he went into optometry just so he could dilate people’s eyes. I had never had my eyes dilated prior to seeing him. But since becoming his patient, my eyes have been dilated on multiple occasions. Even when he doesn’t dilate my eyes I can sense that he’s secretly thinking about his dilation drops.

The first time my eyes were dilated, I didn’t know what to expect. He didn’t warn me not to go into the sun or not to drive. I know it’s pretty common knowledge that eye dilation impacts a person’s vision, but because I didn’t receive special instructions I assumed the dilation drops had worn off. He had already allowed me to put my contacts back in, which I took as a sign that my eyes were returning to their normal state. So, I ventured outside. My eyes were instantly assaulted by the glaring southern sun. They couldn’t handle the amount of light being forcibly shoved into the giant pupil holes.

I scurried off to my car.

Things were better behind the shelter of my car’s windshield. I decided to get myself home so that I could recover in a sun free environment. I pulled out of the parking lot and started my journey home. Quickly, I realized this was the wrong decision. My eyes were not performing at an acceptable level. The small amount of light that was managing to sneak into my eyes was debilitating. I had to find somewhere to allow my eyes to take cover. There was a Target coming up on my left, so I decided to pull in.

I rushed into the store and began wandering around to kill time. I tried to look as normal as possible; unfortunately it wasn’t possible to look very normal. My pupils had swallowed up my irises and I looked like some kind of nocturnal jungle creature.

I bumbled around the store trying to keep my balance.

Down one aisle a woman looked at my face and then directed her child away.

I had become a monster. My fellow humans had turned their backs on me. I secluded myself and concealed my face, so as to not horrify any more shoppers.