Airing of Grievances

I was driving to Target to buy more glue sticks so I could continue making my construction paper pictures (like a big girl!) and I had one of my largest annoyances shoved down my throat repeatedly. This aggravation triggered my mind to think of several other annoyances that I regularly encounter. I then got to thinking about the Festivus episode of Seinfeld, where they had the annual “Airing of Grievances.” Because Festivus isn’t real and I don’t want to stand on the street corner ranting about my frustrations, I decided to create a list of some of the large issues.

Usage of turn signals

This is the problem that arose when I was driving to Target. Virginia drivers don’t understand the purpose of a turn signal. Do not use a signal if there is a curve in the road. I will assume that you are going to follow the curve and not veer off the side of the road, no need to give me a heads up. Do use a signal if you are changing lanes. Also, check your blind spots. I don’t want you to run into me. Driving in Virginia is terrifying. I tell everyone this, but nobody can fully understand until they’ve experienced it. Whenever someone visits me they’re clutching the seat as we drive and yelling “What is he going to do? HE’S DRIFTING! WATCH OUT!!”

When to make eye contact

This one is more of a self-directed grievance. I have a lot of trouble in determining at what point I should acknowledge that a person is approaching me. I want to time the eye contact just right so that I’m not staring too long. There’s nothing worse than walking towards someone, locking eyes, and realizing that you have 10 more seconds of walking past them to do. What happens next? Do you keep staring? Do you look away awkwardly or fumble with something in your hands pretending that you’re now too busy to recognize their existence? Or do you allow a series of uncomfortable eye contacts and hellos?

Theft detectors at stores

I guess you could say that I’m paranoid at times. And one of those times would be when I’m leaving a store and passing through the detectors at the exit. I begin to panic as I approach the detector. I wonder “What if something fell in my bag and the detector goes off and they search my purse and they find the object and think I stole it?” and “What if they left one of those sensor things on one of my items and I have to pull out my receipt to prove I’m not a thief and everyone’s watching and judging me with their eyes?” Sometimes the detector does go off and I look around wondering if I should stop or I should just tear off running even though I know I haven’t taken anything.

Similarly, when I’m in a store looking around and I get a phone call or I’ve just finished talking to someone and I have to go into my purse to grab/put back my phone, I feel like the security cameras are zoomed in on me and everyone around me is suspicious. So, I make the most exacerbated moves to indicate that I’m not hiding anything. If I was actually trying to steal I’d be sneaky, so clearly I’m not trying to steal!

People that honk at me while I’m running

I’m not sure what the reasoning is behind this action. I’ve never seen someone (I don’t know) or something and felt the need to make noise at it. It’s irritating. It makes me jump. I know that guys honk as some sort of courtship ritual. But, I fail to see why it’s directed at me. Usually when I’m running the wind is blowing directly in my face. I don’t know why that’s the case, but it is. Anytime wind touches my face, my face decides to expel all the liquids that it was storing up. So, when I run I have streams of tears and snot running down my face. The honking leads me to believe that guys are attracted to snot.

Store employees that are too interested in “how I’m doing”

I’m the type of person who likes to wander around aimlessly until I’m able to locate what I’m looking for on my own. When sales staff begin circling me I begin to sweat. I know that soon enough I’m going to be questioned on the ease of my experience and the quality of my shopping experience. One round of questioning would be okay – still more than I’d like to experience, but okay. But, I usually am assaulted by multiple waves of overly excited store employees that want to help me.

That’s why I like shopping at Target. I know I’ll be allowed to wander aimlessly to my heart’s desire. I do notice that employees take note of me though (I wander a lot).

People that make me feel embarrassed for them

I already feel enough embarrassment without the assistance of other people. Whenever I watch an awards show I am forced to change the channel during every acceptance speech because of the train wreck that is sure to unfold in front of me. I don’t believe there has ever been an acceptance speech that hasn’t made my stomach turn due to either the speech or the music beginning to queue as the acceptor is still talking. So, right now I’m sitting in the other room as someone accepts an Oscar.

This also applies to people that embarrass themselves in a group setting that I’m involved in. Because I hate to see others experiencing embarrassment and I’m already feeling it for them, I typically end up shifting the uncomfortable energy on myself.

My college asking me for money

I would donate money. I did previously donate money. That is until they allowed my personal information to be stolen from a computer. I think the story was that some employee transferred info to a computer and saved it on the computer even though student info isn’t supposed to be stored directly to a computer. And then someone took that computer.

I’m super paranoid about people getting information about me (weird that I’m now writing a blog). My college roommate, Amrita, used to make fun of me for shredding everything. And since I didn’t have a shredder this meant I was shredding it by hand. But all that was for nothing now that everything about me has been leaked. So no college, I will not give you money! I will at some point, but just not now. You have to learn your lesson.

Objects having the power to make me feel bad

After going to Target to buy glue, I returned later that day to buy a few more things. I typically forget to guy stuff even if I make a list and end up having to return to the store multiple times. This time I had to pick up more eyeliner because my Almay green eyes eyeliner was almost out. They didn’t have it in stock my previous 3 attempts, but I was lucky this time! There were 2 in stock. I grabbed the first one and put it in my basket. I then stared at the last remaining eyeliner and felt sad. It was sitting there all alone. Who knows when someone else would come along and want it. What if that person misused the eyeliner? I tried to fight my urge to take it, but I ended up leaving the store with 2 eyeliners. I am set for the rest of the year now.

This is only one example of my desire to make sure that inanimate objects aren’t left out.